for people who don’t live in britain right now

Posted: June 30, 2016 in Uncategorized
Tags: ,



  • on thursday we had a referendum, which is like x factor but with ramifications 
  • it did not go well
  • 51.9% of people voted to leave the european union
  • so now we are leaving the eu
  • the “leave” campaign promised we’d have more money to spend on the nhs and less immigration if we left the eu
  • a few hours after they won they said this won’t happen
  • they also said they have no plan
  • like, on live tv
  • they said this
  • no one has a plan
  • the value of the pound crashed
  • our prime minister resigned
  • the conservative party, who are in power, are now wondering who should be in charge
  • at the moment it’s looking like a walking wig or a woman who views human rights as a minor inconvenience will be running the country by september
  • the labour party, who are in opposition, are arguing about who should be in charge
  • their leader is jeremy corbyn. imagine a british bernie sanders who looks as if he’s wondering if he left the gas on. that is him. basically he was elected to run for labour leader as a joke and then he actually ended up winning it. now everyone is walking out on him
  • the lib dems say they will ignore brexit and keep britain in the eu
  • do you know who the lib dems are? no, no one does, they used to be a thing but now they have 8 mps
  • their mps can literally share a table at nandos
  • our chancellor of the exchequer gave a speech to try to calm the stock markets down
  • the stock markets calmed down for a bit
  • then it lost its chill and we lost our aaa credit rating
  • this is bad because economy things??? its complicated
  • oh yeah and we just got kicked out of the euros 
  • the euros is football, actual football, im looking at you america with your football that does not involve feet in a significant way
  • so we have effectively left europe twice in one week
  • scotland want to leave britain
  • ireland want to leave britain
  • and wimbledon started today
  • wimbledon, okay
  • normally, the big story
  • the only news story
  • at this time of the year
  • is wimbledon
  • and now
  • the country is falling apart
  • and the news does not know what to do
  • because it opens with “brexit is happening and we’re all freaking out” and ends with “british chances at wimbledon are looking good this year”
  • as if they’re forgetting
  • no one is running the country right now
  • carol i don’t care about the weather for wimbledon i care about THE ECONOMY
  • we are all confused and also the weather is awful

Ok this did make me smile…esp the Carol Wimbledon weather bit.

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