Posts Tagged ‘my fics’

And here we have the long overdue conclusion to the unexpected ‘Goddamn Hero’ series, based on the angst prompt ‘Shh, c’mere…” 

(~ part 1 & 2 can be found here and here respectively)

‘Who are you?’ Three simple words that caused Ty’s heart to break in half and fall into his stomach. This couldn’t be happening, not after the last few days, not after everything before that. They’d come so far, too far, he was not going to lose Zane to a head injury.

“What?” he asked, dreading the confirmation he knew was coming

Zane looked at him for a moment, dark eyes squinting a bit before blinking slowly “Who are you?”

Ty closed his own eyes, hoping he was blinking away the tears he could feel building up “You…you don’t recognise me?” stupid question but he needed to be sure

“Should I?” Zane narrowed his eyes looking exhausted and confused. All Ty wanted to do was reach out and hug him but instead he backed away slowly

“I’ll…I’ll go get a nurse” he informed his husband, trying not to cause a scene, it was the last thing either of them needed.

As he opened the door he suddenly realised that this was the first time he’d left the private hospital room voluntarily since he’d arrived days ago. Nick turned to face him from the seat by the door, obviously surprised to see Ty on the outside

“Everything alright?” Nick asked cautiously, standing so he was more level with Ty

Ty just shook his head unable to voice anything. Nick went to walk past him towards the room but Ty put a hand on his chest to stop him

“He’s awake” Ty muttered quietly

“…and that’s not good?”

“He….he doesn’t know who I am”


Ty didn’t resist as Nick pulled him into a tight hug, one hand clamped round the back of Ty’s neck. Releasing Ty enough to bring their foreheads together. It was a position they’d been in many times throughout the years, Ty was sure that if he breathed deep enough he’d be able to smell hot sand

“It’ll sort itself out Grady” Nick started in a soft voice “He’s probably still groggy from the meds. We’ve all been there, you know how it is”

“Yeah…maybe” Ty let the full weight of his head press against Nick “But what if it’s more than that Nick? What if he never remembers? What…What do I do then?…” he trailed off quietly

If Nick noticed Ty’s voice breaking he didn’t comment on it “If that happens then you will do what ya gotta. You’ll be there for him, support him, do what you can for both him and you and I have no doubt that he’ll fall back in love with you” Nick’s fingers tightened on the back of his neck “He’d be a fool not to”

Ty pulled away enough to look at Nick

“You really are a romantic piece of shit aren’t you?”

“Shut up asshole” Nick grinned, letting go of Ty’s neck to hit him in the arm

Ty sighed as he took a step away bringing both hands up to rest on the back of his neck

“This isn’t the end Ty” Nick stated sliding his hands into this pockets “It’s just a blip in the road”

“Blip? There’s been a blip? Annie’s worried voice cut straight through Ty’s chest, clenching tight around his heart. She approached them slowly “Something’s wrong”

“No…” Nick started when it became evident that Ty wasn’t able to speak “Garrett’s…umm awake bu-”

“He doesn’t remember me” Ty cut in

“Oh Ty” Annie reached out to put a hand on his arm but Ty shrugged away, he didn’t want her pity, he just wanted his husband back. Looking over Annie’s shoulder Ty made eye contact with Mark, who was giving both Ty and Nick a wary look.

Ty still felt uncomfortable being around the other marine but right now he had more pressing concerns and one curiosity

“Where’s Sadie?”

“In the canteen with my parents” Annie started looking towards the doorway to Zane’s room “One of your friends is explaining what happened. We thought it might be best for her to understand how poorly uncle Z is before we let her see him”

“Doc” Ty heard Nick mutter under his breath. Nick’s voice had always had a grounding effect on him and he was glad of it now. As awash with emotion as he was, he wasn’t the only person here who was important to Zane

“You can go in-”

“Mr Grady?” a new voice interrupted. Ty turned to face one of the nurses, it took a moment to realise why she was giving him a confused look, until he remembered that this was the first time he’d left the room, left his husband’s side

“He’s awake…”

The nurse nodded and entered the room, motioning for a couple of her colleagues to follow her. Ty gestured for Annie to follow them. It wasn’t until Nick placed a hand on his shoulder did Ty move towards the room and even then he couldn’t force himself to walk further than three paces into the room.

He watched silently as the nurses gave Zane a brief check over making notes of his vitals and drip settings. They re-positioned Zane so he was leaning back at a comfortable angle as they ask him simple questions. Zane seemed to be calm as he answered what he could in a hoarse voice, despite only being able to provide a handful of answers. It was also obvious to Ty that Zane was feeling at least some degree of pain

After a few minutes they declared that the doctor would be paged for a more thorough assessment but everything was looking positive and until the doctor arrived and told them otherwise they couldn’t foresee a problem with allowing Zane visitors in the form of his worried family and friends while he rested. Promising more painkillers once the doctor had looked him over the nurses left, one of them giving Ty a small smile as she passed.

Ty took a couple of steps closer to the bed, Nick’s hand moving from his shoulder to his back. Ty was glad of the support especially when he heard Zane say Annie’s name, she did have to introduce Mark though so at least that was something. Ty didn’t know what he’d have done if his husband recognised everyone but him.

“I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be Z” Annie squeezed Zane’s hand tightly “You’ve had a big knock to the head, things’ll be fuzzy for a while”

Zane replied with a sigh before turning his attention towards Ty and Nick. Catching Ty’s eyes he smiled slightly “You’ve come back”

Ty felt his breath catch in his throat as Annie questioned “Do you know who they are?”

“No, sorry” Zane replied sounding genuinely sorry “You were here before?”

“When you woke up, yeah” Ty answered, mildly surprised that he managed that much

“This is Nick and Tyler, you call him Ty” Annie informed him slowly watching Zane closely. She wasn’t the only one. When Ty’s name provided no reaction he felt Nick’s hand move back up to his shoulder, giving him a supportive squeeze.

“Garrett” Nick greeted as Ty fought to find his voice, the best he could come up with was a slight nod  

“M’tired Annie” Zane informed her

“We should let you rest” she told him, leaning over to place a kiss on his forehead “We’re all so glad you’re awake Z. We’ll be outside if you need anything”

As she let go of his hand Zane caught hold of her sleeve “Where’s Becky?”

Ty had been convinced he couldn’t feel any more heartbroken than he had the moment Zane had looked him directly in the eye and asked who he was. He’d been wrong, so very wrong – this was a whole new level of feeling distraught

“Oh Zane…”

Ty could only watch helplessly as Annie explained to his husband that Becky, his wife of ten years was no longer with them. Ty knew for a fact Nick was the only reason he was still standing, there were sure to be finger marks on his upper arm as his friend supported him. Ty had seen some horrific things in his life. Stuff that stayed with him, haunting his dreams and occasionally his waking thoughts and he knew for a fact that this, this moment right now, watching his husband reliving the death of his first spouse would be added to the list.

Zane did not react well.

Ty’s training kicked in as Zane became increasingly agitated. He noticed that Nick and Mark’s training wasn’t far behind his. As Zane shouted and thrashed around trying to get up and away from the bed, Mark pulled his wife away from the situation before returning to grab hold of Zane’s ankles. Nick had hold of Zane’s wrists, leaning over the bed at an awkward angle. While Ty grabbed this sides of Zane’s head, leaning down to whisper in his ear.

One of Zane’s arms got free and he managed to hit Ty in the side of the face as he tried to roll to one side. He stopped suddenly with an howl of pain, giving Nick the chance to recapture his arm. Zane had more than likely just discovered his broken pelvis. Ty closed his eyes and concentrated on talking to Zane. He knew his voice wasn’t as soothing as Zane’s could be but he hoped it helped as he amped up his West Virginian accent.

He would never be able to recall what he actually said to Zane but he would hazard a guess that it was full of soothing tones, nicknames and occasional threats mixed in with some begging, pleading and love yous. Something must have reached the larger man as he suddenly stopped struggling. Ty wasn’t sure if it was his words, the pain or the fact that Zane had worn himself out, whatever the reason he was just thankful that Zane was no longer trying to leave the bed.

Opening his eyes Ty could make out new faces and another familiar figure, though it took him a moment to clear his eyes of tears to focus on them properly         

“Johns take him!” Nick ordered and Ty felt someone grab his arm in a firm grip, he tried to shake them off but they just gripped tighter “Grady, Coffee!”

“I don’t drink coffee” he protested weakly

“Don’t care just go with Johns”


“Tyler look at me, please”

Ty forced himself to take a couple of deep breaths and look at his friend. Nick didn’t look too great. A quick look around the room revealed the others in pretty much the same state. Mark had Annie wrapped up in his arms, trying to comfort her as she sobbed quietly into his chest. Owen was panting slightly as he held onto Ty’s arm while two nurses and a couple of orderlies surrounded Zane.

Zane was laid back, half conscious and mumbling to himself, fresh tears rolling down his cheeks.    


“What?” Ty snapped turning back to face Nick

“Go with Owen, talk this out” Nick’s tone was pleading “He’s the best person to help you now”


“Ty please, I’ll stay and make sure Zane’s okay” Nick assured him “He calmed without needing to be sedated. I don’t know what you said to him but it worked” stepping forward Nick pulled him into a tight hug “You helped him, now go, let Johns help you so you can come back here stronger. He’s going to need you, you hear me? Now go get your head on straight, that’s an order”

Ty stepped back nodding. Orders he liked, orders he could follow, orders didn’t require him to make sense of what he was feeling. He followed Owen out of the room and was amazed when he managed it without looking back towards the bed. He knew if he’d seen Zane laying there in such a helpless state he’d never have made it to the canteen

It was almost two hours later when Ty approached Zane’s room again. It had taken a while but with Owen’s help he now felt able to take the next few steps, whatever they may be.

“He wanted some space” Nick answered without being asked

Ty just looked at him before he remembered that Nick had promised to stay with Zane.

“Thanks Irish” Ty patted him on the shoulder as he passed “Guessing he’s alone in there then?”


“Did they have to give him anything?”

“Only some pain killers” Nick explained “The doctor came to see him. They asked me to leave since I wasn’t family but his sister said that they’re pleased with his progress. It might have taken awhile for him to wake up but he’s more coherent than most. The memory loss looks to be temporary, though we all know they can never say that for sure…” Ty nodded, there were still moments from the concussion he suffered on the first case he ever worked with Zane that he couldn’t recall and that injury was nowhere near as bad as this one “They did another x-ray on his hips and are happy that he hasn’t damaged himself further with what I must admit was an incredible effort to get out of bed, especially for someone fresh out of a coma. I’ve only ever seen Sanchez move with that much determination that time Digger somehow set his sheets on fire”

Ty couldn’t help but chuckle at that particular memory “Has he said anything?”

“I tried to give him some space, nobody wants witnesses to their breakdowns, especially witnesses they don’t particularly like” Nick shrugged “He was talking to his sister and he seemed a lot calmer when we left. She’s gone to update their folks. He seemed to be resting whenever I looked in on him”

“I’m gunna go in there, see if he needs anything”

Nick nodded “And I’ll be sitting here if you need anything”

Ty nodded a thanks before heading into the room, closing the door quietly behind him. The lights had been turned down low and Zane looked to be resting peacefully, propped up in the bed. All that was missing was an open book and one of the kittens and Ty could have tricked himself that all was well.

Deliberately making noise, Ty approached the bed slowly. Zane cracked an eye open when he was about five feet away.

“Hey” he smiled sleepily

“Zane…” Ty lifted a hand then let it drop, suppressing the urge to touch his husband “I, okay, I wasn’t going to do this, I wanted to wait until…well I don’t know when but I need to tell you who I am” Ty paused, running a hand through his hair as he looked into Zane’s dark eyes. God this was difficult, he needed to get the information out but didn’t want to upset or hinder Zane “Well you know who I am, I need to explain who you are to me and I-”


Ty stopped talking as soon as he heard his name, spoken in a soft accented voice. His name had never sounded better and he realised for the first time how worried he’d been that he’d never hear the other man say it again.

“Zane, please let me finish, I need you to know…” Ty trailed off as Zane held his left hand out palm up and made the universal ‘come over here’ gesture  

“Shh, c’mere…” Ty watched Zane’s fingers as they curled “Doll”

“Doll?” Ty questioned slowly, as he closed the remaining distance and took Zane’s hand “You, you remember me?”

“Not exactly” Zane started sadly “Annie filled me in but it’s patchy” Zane squeezed Ty’s fingers and held up his hand “This, this I remember”


“You’re not talking me into another one”

“You’ve lost me”

“Tattoo Ty, one of the most physically painful experiences of my life” Zane clarified, bringing Ty’s hand up to his mouth so he could kiss Ty’s wedding ring tattoo “Worth it though”

“You remember the wedding?”

Zane shook his head and Ty had to look somewhere other than Zane’s eyes otherwise the unshed tears he saw there would set him off. Instead he focused on running the fingers of his free hand through Zane’s dark curls. The motion sometimes soothed Zane, he hoped that was the case now.

“Not really I’m afraid” Zane started, he was still speaking quietly. Ty wasn’t sure if that was due to the emotion, the sore throat Zane no doubt had after breathing through a tube for three days or sheer exhaustion, the signs of which were obvious to Ty “When Annie was telling me stuff I was looking at my finger and got like a pain memory and when I looked up I could see you sitting there holding my other hand and grinning like a loon. When I looked back down I could see the tattoo gun and all I remember focusing on was your hand and your new shiny, clingfilm wrapped tattoo resting on my thigh”

Ty leaned over quickly to place a gently kiss on Zane’s closed lips. There was no way he was letting that story pass without attempting to show Zane how he felt

“We’ll get through this Lone Star, I promise you we’ll get you better” Ty reassured him “How’s the rest of your memories?”

“Very patchy. I kind of get flashes and random bits” Zane confessed, seeming to settle back into the pillows further “I know Becky’s gone. I can remember bits and it hurts, I’m sorry” Zane finished looking up at Ty

“Don’t you ever feel like you need to apoligise for that” Ty told him “I know I’m not a replacement for her, I never could be and don’t want to be. She was a massive part of your life and helped turn you into the man I love”

“Thank you” Zane smiled at him, reaching up with the hand that wasn’t still entangled with Ty’s to cup Ty’s face “I know I have you now. I remember a mountain, scuba diving, a great big fuck-off cat and a very small but oh so painful tattoo”

Zane tugged Ty down into another kiss

“They told me that the memory vagueness is normal and that it’ll take time but I should recover most things. I may need your help though”

“Your wish is my command” Ty gave him a lopsided grin “Once you’re back up and fit for purpose I’m sure we can reenact anything you’re missing…how long till your hips are good to go again?”

Zane managed to swat him round the back of the head before Ty could duck away “Losing your touch Meowmix”

“Dick” Ty smirked fondly, rubbing at his head “Seriously though, you have no idea how relieved I am” Ty quickly grabbed the visitor chair and position it at the head of the bed. Getting comfy he took ahold of Zane’s hand and began playing with his fingers “Wish I could climb in there with you”

“What’s stopping you?”

“Your broken pelvis”

“…fair point” Zane yawned and pushed further back into his pillows “You going to tell me what happened?”

“Naaa it’s not my story to tell”


“It’s not” Ty assured him “There’s a little girl waiting to thank you, speaking off…” Ty stood to retrieve the stuffed bunny from its new perch atop the drip stand. He idly wondered who’d put it there as he handed it to Zane, who gave the bunny a confused look “I think she should be the one to tell you, after all you’re her goddamn hero” leaning down Ty gave Zane another quick kiss, running a thumb over Zane’s stubbly cheek as he pulled away “Mine too, but I’m sure she’ll tell it better”  

As requested a follow up to ‘Oh fuck, oh fuck’ part 2 of ‘Goddamn Hero’, based on the angst prompt “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere”


It had been 7 hours since they started trying to wake Zane up, 420 minutes since they’d started to reduce the sedation medication he was on, 25,200 seconds and still no sign that his husband was going to open his eyes.

Ty was sick with worry.

He knew it wouldn’t happen instantly, he’d been warned as much but he had expected to see something before now, especially after what had happened earlier.

Two hours after they’d reduced the medication the ventilator had alarmed. Ty was on his feet instantly, holding Zane’s hand to his chest. Two nurses had run into the room followed by Digger and Kelly. Ty had tried to keep hold of Zane’s hand, one minute he was right there the next at the other side of the room. Digger’s arms wrapped around him from behind while Kelly stood in front of him, both hands on his face forcing Ty to look at him. There was a throbbing in the pressure points in his wrists.  

The shouting he could hear – he eventually realised – was coming from himself.

Once he’d managed to calm himself, Kelly had pulled his head down. Ty let him, after what could only be described as a pathetic attempt at resistance. Resting his forehead against Kelly’s shoulder, he tried to hear the reassuring words Doc was muttering next to his ear, while rubbing the back of Ty’s neck. He couldn’t make anything out, the alarm was too loud, he couldn’t understand what was going on.

Looking up over Kelly’s shoulder, all Ty could see was a flurry of activity around Zane. He happened to be looking towards the head of the bed when they pulled the tube out of Zane’s throat, he was pretty sure that’s the point his legs gave out.

The next thing he was aware of was being sat down, in his previously abandoned chair, against the far wall. Digger had a hand on each shoulder and Kelly was knelt in front of him, leaning against his knees and still talking. He could hear what Kelly was saying this time, the alarm was silent.

A nurse approached and Kelly had stood to intercept him, returning to his place at Ty’s knee after a few quick words and nods.

“He’s breathing on his own Ty” Kelly had smiled at him “The ventilator detected breathing and alarmed to let the staff know” Ty must have looked at him blankly causing Kelly to continue “This is a good thing, Six. He’s strong enough to breath for himself, this is a very good thing”

Ty stood to get a better look at Zane, he felt Digger’s hands slide off his shoulders but knew he hadn’t gone far. Fuck, Zane had looked so small, how the hell a 6’5’’ 220lb guy could appear small was beyond him, but somehow his husband was managing it.

They’d both strongly suggested that Ty should try and get some sleep as it would most likely be awhile before Zane awoke, anything up to and in some cases beyond 24 hours. Sounding like a two year old he’d told them to get some sleep. Only to be informed that they had and that Nick and Owen were currently napping in the relatives room down the corridor. Sidewinder had been taking it in shifts to make sure someone was always around if Ty needed them.      

“Told you to get some proper, lying horizontal sleep while he was medicated” Kelly smiled at him “I can sit with him if you like, promise I’ll wake you if anything happens”

“Maybe in a bit” Ty had replied, patting Kelly’s shoulder, they both knew he had no intention of following that advice.

Five hours later Zane was still unconscious and receiving mechanical breathing assistance via the mask that securely covered his mouth and nose. Ty had questioned Kelly about that and once again he’d been reassured that it was normal. Zane would be weak, so although the machine wasn’t breathing for him anymore it was assisting Zane’s natural breathing to make sure he got enough oxygen.

Kelly had also gone over some of the possible side effects Zane might have when he woke – confusion, aggression, random movements, vacant expressions, unable to respond in correct manner – Digger had accused Kelly of looking it all up on wikipedia which Kelly didn’t deny. He’d also apparently been reading staff training notices and quizzing them, having gained the favour of a couple of the overworked nurses when he’d offered to help them turn a few of the patients. Whenever it had come to Zane’s treatment Ty had assisted them, those few moments where the only times he hadn’t felt completely useless.

“You could always try pinching him”

Ty turned to face Kelly “Lurking there long Doc?”

“Just got here” Kelly said approaching the bed, he gave Zane a quick assessment before looking at Ty more intently “Don’t worry, you’re not losing your touch just yet”

“He’s not waking up Doc” Ty sighed, sitting back in the chair, he’d pulled to the head of the bed. His fingers were tangled with the fingers of Zane’s left hand, his thumb rubbing over Zane’s wedding ring tattoo.

“Give him time” Kelly’s voice was soft “He’ll wake when he’s ready”

“How can you be so confident?”

“Someone’s got to be” Kelly dropped the paper bag he was carrying on Ty’s lap.

Ty looked at him, raising an eyebrow “Weren’t you getting some sleep?”

“First I was getting some food, now I’m bringing you some food” Kelly patted Ty’s shoulder before rounding the bed to stand on the other side of the sleeping man, washing his hands with the sanitiser gel at the bottom of the bed as he passed “It’s a plain bagel, figured your stomach won’t be up to much. Eat, then I’ll go sleep”

“Always the Doc huh?”

Kelly hummed a confirmation as he leaned over Zane, no doubt checking a few things for himself, going so far as to lift one of his eyelids “All his scans looked good and his blood gas results aren’t much to worry about”

Ty reluctantly let go of Zane’s hand and removed the bagel from the bag, tearing it into small chunks before eating each piece slowly. He really wasn’t in the mood for food but his stomach seem to appreciate the thought.    

“You know this how?”

“I read his patient file while you were not sleeping earlier” Kelly shrugged “Didn’t think you’d mind and well, if he minds he’ll have to wake up and shout at me for it won’t he?”

“Do you miss it?” Ty questioned out of the blue “The corpsman stuff?” he clarified when Kelly didn’t answer

“Sometimes, don’t miss seeing you lot injured though, then again we’re never not injured for long”

“What’s the verdict?” Ty asked nodding towards Zane

“I’d say it’s nothing to worry about yet, he’s a big guy so they probably had to pump a fair amount of sedative into him to keep him under. Drugs and alcohol can have an effect but he’s been clean for years…” Kelly trailed off as Ty nodded the confirmation “So yeah, not too worried”

Ty chewed on his bottom lip slightly before voicing one of his main concerns “I’m worried about his eyesight, y’no after what happened before”

“Oh, yeah he was blind when we first met him” Kelly nodded, obviously recalling the memories “A weekend of explosions, bank robberies and finding out a third of the team was into banging dudes. Also no paintball”

“Doc…” Ty knew what Kelly was doing, trying to distract and lighten the situation but right now he was just beyond exhausted, all he wanted was to see Zane open his gorgeous eyes and be able to see him.

“They won’t be able to assess that until he wakes up” Kelly moved back around the bed to stand at Ty’s side “I wasn’t kidding about the pinching him thing, seriously try it”

Ty gave him a skeptical look, raising an eyebrow “Four days ago he was hit by a car, crushing a little girl, breaking his pelvis and head in the process and has just spent three days in a coma…” Kelly was nodding “And now you want me to pinch him?”


“Want me to smack him in the face too?”

“Well that might be a step too far but if it’ll make you feel better go for it” Kelly replied patting Ty’s shoulder “Waking from a coma is a bit like waking from a three day bender. It’s slow, confusing and probably won’t be pretty. He’ll start opening his eyes, most likely just a flicker at first but he should be able to keep them open for longer periods of time as he becomes more conscious. Waking someone up becomes easier too. First they’ll respond to pain hence the pinch” Kelly explained reaching out to pinch the skin on Zane’s forearm “Then touch, like shaking his shoulder and finally sound, so calling his name”

“Nothing” Ty sighed, staring at Zane’s unresponsive face

“Give him time, Ty” Kelly squeezed his shoulder “I’ll be in the relatives room if you need me, Irish is outside, Digger and Ozone are in the canteen I think”

“Thanks Doc” Ty replied, squeezing Kelly’s hand that was still on his shoulder before Kelly slipped quietly out the room

Ty became aware of three things suddenly, an ache in his back, a quiet banging sound and the feeling of a hand on his head. Looking up quickly he felt his heart drop to his stomach when he took in Zane’s lifeless features, still the same non-expression. Slowly the last hour came back to him.

He’d tried pinching Zane more times than was probably necessary, on every patch of Zane’s skin he could get to. The response was the same no matter how hard he pinched, there was no response. Giving up he’d dropped his head to the mattress and placed Zane’s hand on top of his head. He’d woken a few times at home to the feel of Zane running his fingers through Ty’s hair. What he wouldn’t give to feel that now.

The banging happened again, louder this time. Ty realised it was someone at the door.

“Yeah?” he called, not sure why he bothered to keep his voice down, it wasn’t like he was trying not to disturb Zane.

Ty kept his attention on Zane as the door opened. It was the sound of a small gasp that made him turn around

“Oh God Z. He looks…”

Ty stood wordlessly, letting go of Zane’s hand he walked over and wrapped his arms around Zane’s little sister. He felt her arms wrap around him, squeezing tightly before letting go and taking a step back

“You look…rough” she offered a small smile

Ty ran a hand through his hair, under no illusion that it was probably sticking up in every direction. He hadn’t shaved in about a week neither so that combined with the fact he hadn’t left the hospital room in days probably wasn’t helping. One of his boys had called by the house and grabbed his go-bag so thankfully he wasn’t completely disgusting.   


“Sush Ty it’s ok” she told him stepping around him to approach the bed “Your friends outside told me what happened”

“He’s a goddamn hero, Annie”

“Yeah we heard he saved a little girl” she nodded, smiling at her brother

“I should have been there”

“From what I hear there was nothing anyone could have done” she stated “So stop beating yourself up over it, you’re here now and that will mean the world to him…and us”


“Mark’s outside with Sadie” Annie started gently taking Zane’s hand in both of hers “I wanted to see how he was doing before letting Sadie in”

“Your parents?”

“Are finding a hotel for us all”

Ty nodded, he had a feeling he should probably have offered to help with that. He was just about to offer an apology when Annie spoke up again

“The boys outside also said he should be waking up soon”

“Yeah, they reduced his medication hours ago” Ty sighed, running his hand through Zane’s hair “We’re playing the waiting game now”

“Was he, was he ready to be woken?”

“I asked that too” Ty had moved his hand down to rub the back of his fingers down the side of Zane’s face, well the bit he could reach above the mask “They had a tube down his throat that was breathing for him. Apparently due to infection risks the throat tube can only be used for three days max, then they have to do a tracheostomy, which is a tube directly into the windpipe through his neck I’ve been told” Ty sighed “His scans were positive so they decided to wake him now rather than do an additional procedure”

“So he could wake anytime now?” Annie questioned

“So they tell me, I don’t know if Doc’s outside but he’ll be able to give you a good run down on the medical side of stuff. Think they said age could be having an effect, older people take longer to wake up”  

They both watched Zane silently for a moment

“‘I’m not sure if Sadie should see this” Annie muttered after a while “It might upset her too much, it’s upsetting me”

Ty was about to respond when a new noise cut him off. When he saw Annie lean over the bed he knew he wasn’t hearing things

“Zane, darlin’” he coaxed, running his hand back through Zane’s hair “Zane, it’s Ty. Annie’s here too”

Zane’s eyelids flickered but didn’t open.

“Zane, c’mon Lone Star, open your eyes for us” Ty rubbed one of Zane’s shoulders “Please”

Ty moved the mask slightly and instantly wished he hadn’t. The noise Zane was making wasn’t comforting. Letting the mask fall back into place he reached over to press the nurse call bell

“Think Sadie will have to wait to see uncle Z” Annie muttered, reaching to put an arm around Ty, he hugged her tight nodding numbly in agreement  

Ty was lost in thought again. Annie had left after the nurse came into the room, responding to the call button. They’d checked over Zane and assured him that everything was fine. She had also let slip that if Zane hadn’t started to respond they were going to run an EEG to see just what kind of sleep Zane was in but since he was showing waking signs they were happy to hold off on that, for now.

Annie, gave Zane a kiss and told him she wouldn’t be long, then explained to Ty that she was going to take Sadie to the canteen, get her fed while updating her parents. She’d asked him to ring her as soon as Zane showed any other signs of waking. That had been almost two hours ago and although she’d come and gone again since then Zane was still mostly asleep.

Ty looked at their linked fingers and rubbed his thumb over their wedding tattoos – a habit he’d apparently picked up “C’mon Garrett” he was almost begging “Nap time’s over, it’s time to wake and face the world again”

Letting his head drop again he placed a kiss against their fingers

“I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere”

“Appreciate it”

The voice was rough with disuse but there was no mistaking it. Ty was on his feet instantly

“Oh shit, Zane?” clutching Zane’s hand to his chest, he leaned over to push Zane’s hair from his forehead “Can you see me?”

Zane blinked lazily and Ty held his breath waiting for Zane’s eyes to open again – god he’d missed those beautiful eyes. Zane grimaced as he swallowed. Ty helped him lean forward and take a small sip of water. When Zane swallowed again the process seemed easier he even managed to wet his lips

“Your throat will be sore, you’ve had a tube down there but there shouldn’t be lasting effects” Ty smiled, he knew he was grinning like an idiot but he didn’t care, he was so fucking relieved and Zane seemed to be focusing on him which was great, but Ty had to be sure “You can see me right?”

“Yeah” Zane returned his smile sleepily “Who are you?”

I wrote another C&R ficlet (is it still classed as a ficlet at 2K+ words?) – Zane is a goddamn hero…but Ty already knew that – based on the angst prompt “Oh fuck, oh fuck


“Name sir?”

“Kelly Abbott” Kelly replied, drumming his fingers lightly on the counter top “Not sure the name the rooms booked under though, my friends arrived last night, I’m supposed to meet them out on the hike after I dump my bags”

The brunette shook her head, eyes never leaving the computer screen in front of her “Nothing under Kelly Abbott”

“Try Nick O’Flaherty” Kelly suggested, mentally kicking himself, he knew he should have paid more attention when details of the trip were being thrown around “Or Tyler Grady”

The speed at which the receptionist’s head shot up would have been amusing if there weren’t tears in her eyes “What was that second name?”

“Tyler Grady?”

“Oh…” she retrieved a folded piece of paper from behind the keyboard and held it out with shaking hands “I’m so sorry, we tried to find them when it first came through but we can’t seem to get in contact, we’ve got someone out looking but…”

“What’s this?”

“I-I can’t, I’m sorry” she quickly left the reception and a very confused Kelly

Unfolding the paper he read the words written in neat handwriting, it took him four read throughs before the words sank in.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck

Bags forgotten he raced out into the mountain air, he had to get to Ty and he had to get there now.


“Don’t you dare die on me, you hear that Garrett? don’t you fucking dare!”

He wasn’t expecting an answer and he didn’t get one. Even if Zane had been awake it would have been hard to speak around the tube down his throat, then again if he’d been awake there’d be no need for the tube in the first place.

Letting out a frustrated growl Ty stood up and began pacing, running both hands through his short hair as he approached the window. He couldn’t bring himself to actually look out at the world outside, at a world where life continued. Didn’t they realise that a vital part was no longer walking around? how could things be so normal when everything wasn’t.

Heading back over to the bed he fell back into the seat he’d just left. This couldn’t be real, it couldn’t be happening, it just couldn’t. Surely they deserved a break from the epic amount of shit they’d gone through. As a couple they spent far too much time in hospitals both as patients and visitors, it just wasn’t normal but then again when had anything about them been normal?  

His fingers found his husband’s, lacing together in a familiar act that felt one sided. Zane’s left hand was undamaged, so there was no reason not to hold it, the nurses’ had encouraged him to do just that actually. They also encouraged him to talk to the unconscious man. Ty had found that difficult, all he’d been able to find the strength to say so far were threats and insults, which thinking back to their early days was pretty standard. It had been the language they communicated best in.  

Squeezing Zane’s fingers tightly, Ty let his head fall to the bed, eyes closed he let the surrounding noises fill his mind. The monitor Zane was attached to was quiet thankfully, Ty had quickly learnt that beeping either meant a pump had stopped working or Zane had. The sound of the respirator was the sole noise within the private room, with every hiss Ty was reminded that the machine was breathing for his husband. It annoyed him but it was better than the alternative, whenever the machine paused between mechanical breaths Ty’s heart would stop until it started again. He had grown to fear the silence.

All other noise was muted, the traffic and street noise from outside, the activity going on in the rest of the hospital out on the corridor beyond the walls and the voices he could hear on the other side of the door. The voices he knew belonged to Sidewinder. He wanted to be alone, needed to be alone. In a fit of anger, grief and despair he’d gone as far as ordering Sidewinder to ‘fuck off’, they’d listened in the only way they knew how. They protested that he couldn’t technically order them anywhere anymore and left, only to set up some sort of guard outside Zane’s room.  

Ty felt warm tears as he thought of his brothers and how they’d banded round him, supporting him throughout all this despite what he said. He recalled Kelly’s shouts has he caught up to them, the way he’d bypassed Nick and ran straight at Ty, pulling him into a tight hug before holding him at arm’s length

“We have to go now, there’s been an accident. Zane’s in hospital”  

Everything else from that moment on had been a blur. He was aware that Kelly had handed a piece of paper to Nick when he thought Ty wasn’t looking and that it’d been passed between the others, but no one would let him see it. Kelly had used the words ‘critical but stable’ to describe Zane’s condition but really how would he know? he wasn’t there, Ty wasn’t there neither and that pissed him off. Ty assumed that there was something on the paper he shouldn’t see, whatever it was it was bad. Kelly was shaken, it took a hell of a lot to shake his boys, especially Doc when it came to medical stuff but shaken he was.  

Ty had never been more glad that Kelly had absentmindedly double booked himself – again – and had arranged to meet up with them on the hike. If he hadn’t they’d still be up a mountain none the wiser, as it was it had taken them too damn long to get to Zane’s bedside, even with Nick’s driving skills.

Lifting his head, Ty leaned forward in his chair, reaching out with his free hand to run his fingers through Zane’s curls. His hair was getting longer again, long enough that Ty could tuck a couple of stray strand behind Zane’s ears.

“Please don’t leave me” his whispered, standing so that he could place a kiss on Zane’s forehead. He couldn’t help but lightly touch the tubing and the strapping that rested on the edges of Zane’s mouth, it looked like it was leaving marks but that should probably be the least of his worries  

Three days it had been, three fucking days.

The coma his husband was in was medically induced. Kelly had assured him that that was common practise with brain injuries to give the body time to heal. The hospital staff didn’t seem all that worried and had deemed it safe for Zane to be placed in a side room. Ty had worried about that but had been shown the nurses station and the display that showed Zane’s vitals along with those of other patients on the ward. If anything went wrong they’d be there in seconds.

Zane’s injuries would have been impressive if they weren’t so life threatening or belonging to his lover. For fucks sake what had Zane been thinking? well knowing more about the circumstances of the accident Ty knew that his husband hadn’t been thinking, he’d reacted on instinct – the man was a fucking hero…but Ty had known that already.

Zane should have been with them. Sidewinder had been making every effort to meet up at least once every few weeks since their last emotion filled road trip. They’d been doing pretty well too. Zane was always invited but he’d declined this time. He’d wanted Ty to spend some time with his friends without him hanging around, they both knew Ty didn’t get to see them as much as he’d like.

If Zane had been with them he wouldn’t be lying in a coma, equally if Zane had been with them a little girl might have lost her life    

“You need to wake up and get better Lone Star” Ty started, moving his hand back up to the top of Zane’s bed. Picking up the cuddly toy he gently rubbed one of the bunny’s soft ears against Zane’s cheek “Feel that? That’s a present from a very lucky little girl that you need to meet properly”

Ty felt fresh tears falling as he recalled the knock on the door. Digger had stuck his head round and asked Ty if he’d mind a special visitor wanting to share her thanks. Who was he to deny an eight year old. Her very tearful parents had told him that she insisted on visiting the man who’d saved her, they wanted to thank him too. They’d also filled Ty in on what had happened. He’d listened quietly as the father described the moment he’d taken his daughter from the car, checked the street and not a car in sight had told her to cross quickly, that mummy was in the coffee shop on the other side. The car had apparently come out of nowhere, screeched around the corner and tore down the street at excessive speed.

The father’s voice broke but he’d taken a deep breath determined to get through his tale, as if it was the least he could do, to make sure the broken man in front of him was informed of just how much of a hero his husband was.

Zane had been leaving the coffee shop – the mother had recognised him – he’d obviously seen what was about to happen and ran into the street. The father had had the same idea but was slower, he’d watched helplessly as Zane had picked his daughter up, holding her above his head as the car hit him as it tried to swerve last minute. Nobody could quite recall the immediate events following the collision. EMT’s were on the scene quickly as were the police, both Zane and the little girl – Emily – had been taken to hospital, the car never stopped. She had suffered minor injuries and had been kept in a couple of days for observation.

Emily showed Ty her bright pink cast, her arm had been broken when Zane had landed on her, she wasn’t mad and had wanted to come and tell Zane that as well as thank him. The bunny she’d picked in the gift shop, she had one just like it at home who always made her feel better and she wanted Zane to have one too.

As they’d been leaving Emily had asked Ty for a hug, so that he could pass it along to Zane when he woke up. As he’d held the little girl he couldn’t help but notice that her head was level with his stomach, roughly the same place Zane’s hips came to on him. One of Zane’s, now broken, hips had taken the impact of the car, there was no doubt about it, if the car had hit the girl then she’d be dead.

“You saved her, darlin’” Ty told Zane, he wasn’t sure if Zane was aware of that, he wasn’t sure at what point Zane had lost consciousness. “Her name’s Emily and I promised that she could come see you when you’re home so you need to wake the fuck up and come back to me”

Sighing Ty placed the bunny back at the top of the bed and sank back into his chair, reaching out to hold Zane’s hand in both of his own

“I’m so fucking proud of you Zane, so fucking proud” Ty told his husband, squeezing his hand again “You’re a goddamn hero. She reminded me of your Sadie but I guess you already made that connection…” Ty trailed off before, wetting his lips before continuing “Sadie’s coming to see you too. I-I called your family, I had to” he still wasn’t sure he’d done the right thing. Zane and his family, well his mother, were getting along much better nowadays but he wasn’t sure if Zane would have wanted them to know about this.

“This, this is bad babe, they deserve to know and well…yeah they’re coming, next flight out of Texas Owen told me, I tried to make the call myself but as soon as I heard Annie’s voice I didn’t know what to say” Ty trailed off again, he was such a muddle of emotion he didn’t know what to do “I’m supposed to be good at this kinda shit, you know dealing with stressful, emotional situations. I’m trained for this but I just froze – Johns took over the call. I was there but I was fucking useless, just like now….”

Ty looked up at Zane’s expressionless face, focusing on his closed eyes “They tell me you banged your head when you hit the ground, that there’s some bleeding in there. That’s why they’ve put you in the coma. They’re planning on waking you up in a couple of hours, your last scan was really good so they’re confident” Ty sighed, bringing Zane’s hand up to his lips, he gently kissed Zane’s ring finger “So you’d better make the most of this nap because I’m expecting to see those beautiful eyes of yours soon, you hear me Garrett? You’re going to wake up and I’m going to be here and then we’re going to get you better again”

Placing Zane’s hand back on the bed, fingers still entwined, Ty couldn’t help but notice how their wedding tattoos lined up. Rubbing his right thumb over both tattoos he looked back up at Zane’s face

“Please wake up when it’s time Zane” he begged squeezing Zane’s fingers “I…I don’t know what to do without you”  

I appear to be on a bit of a roll with these things, I’m scared ~ Another C&R angsty prompt fic based on “It’s all YOUR fault!” & “I can’t breathe!” 


“It’s all your fault!” Ty grumbled, pacing the length of the room. It was an act that only required four maybe five steps. Their only light source – the torch app on Zane’s phone – was propped up on a stack of books, it highlighted the anger on Ty’s face whenever he passed in front of it. As they’d found out a few moments ago, after listening to it ring with ‘Zane’s theme’, Ty’s phone was still out in the main area of the shop.

“My fault, how is this my fault?”

“You were the one who moved the extinguisher, it was propping the door open”

“By accident! I moved it by accident” Zane defended, backing up into a corner. He really didn’t want to get in the way of Ty’s pacing, not that he had anywhere to go to get out of the way “How was I supposed to know the door can’t be opened from the inside?”

“It was in the floor plans!”

“Which I let you handle, you know I never looked at those. I had other shit to do, like organising the contracts with publishers, setting up the banking side of the business, sourcing books and furniture for the bookshop. You agreed to oversee the CIA side of things”

“Which I did”

“Yet you didn’t think to say ‘oh by the way darlin’ the storage cupboard by the horror section is actually an emergency cell in case we get any trouble through the front door’” Zane just shook his head “Why did you even let me store stuff in here?”

“I didn’t know you had”

Ty’s voice was starting to sound desperate. Zane knew his husband’s claustrophobia could be crippling at times, he was just thankful that the small room was mildly warm, clean and lined with wood. As far as Zane knew Ty’s previous near-death-by-small-spaces experiences involved wet, cold stone and probably mud, dust and sand. It was a shame there wasn’t a window but he supposed that would have compromised the security of the ‘emergency cell’.

Maybe they’d have to look into installing a light. He was kind of surprised that Ty had signed off on the small cell that would effectively trap someone in total darkness in the first place. He knew of his husband’s past experience as a POW, it was an educated guess at first but then it had been confirmed and he’d been told details. He was sure he’d been spared from some of the more intense descriptions but what he’d heard had been enough. Maybe Ty deemed the cell necessary, especially if it was only supposed to be used as a temporary measure in an emergency. They’d have to have a talk about it, later, when they weren’t actively testing it out.

Another thing he was thankful for was that they still had phone reception in the storage cell.

“Just try and relax doll” Zane reached out intending to put a comforting arm on Ty but decided against it, he didn’t want to overcrowd the other man. He was already struggling to appear smaller than his six foot five, well built frame actually was. It didn’t help that Ty also wasn’t a small man “Clancy’s coming over, she said she’d be twenty minutes tops”

“You called Clancy?” if anything Ty sounded even more put out “Thought you were calling Perrimore”

“He didn’t pick up”

“We’re going to be rescued from our own cupboard by Clancy?, Oh God, she’ll be unbarable”

“Least it’ll give her something else to rub in my face” Zane shrugged, at this moment all he really wanted was to get Ty out of this cupboard, he didn’t care how much dignity and/or man points he lost in the process “She’s still pissed I shot her”


“I know…” and he did, they both did. There was nothing more to say about those particular past events, nothing that would help this situation anyway. Silence surrounded them as Ty stopped pacing.

“Lone star?”


“I don’t like this”

“I know you don’t doll, I know you don’t” this time he did reach out for his husband, managing to grab hold of Ty’s elbow “You’ll be alright, we’ll be out of here soon” Zane tried to reassure him gently squeezing his arm, he felt Ty lean into the touch, relaxing slightly.

The moment would have been sweet if the light hadn’t chosen that moment to die. The slight gap at the bottom of the door did absolutely nothing to alleviate the darkness.


Zane reached out for the phone. Pressing buttons in every combination he could think of once he’d located it. The phone remained dark.

“Battery’s dead” Zane ignored the huff Ty let out, he refused to take the blame for this new turn of events “It didn’t get a full charge last night, one of your demon cats chewed through my charger cable”

“They’re just babies, they don’t know any better”

“They’re demons is what they are”

The mood in the room shifted, shifted in a way that made it obvious that Ty was starting to freak out, his breathing was getting louder and quicker. Zane needed to find a way to distract him before the freak out developed into a full blown panic attack.

“Don’t suppose you’ve started teaching the demons to open cell doors yet? actually scratch that, don’t teach them that. Last thing we’d need is for them to let someone out should we ever actually need to use this room…I’ll probably have to move the stock in here too”

“Zane…” Ty was gasping for breath now. Zane felt a hand hit his shoulder, reaching out he managed to grab hold of the flailing appendage “I can’t breathe!”                        

“Yes Ty” Zane told him firmly “Yes you can, it’s just your mind playing tricks on you okay?”

“I….I…ca…” Ty trailed off, sucking in air loudly.

Zane felt his heart breaking. He hated seeing Ty like this. He was almost convinced that his husband would work himself up into such a state one day that the strain on his heart would be too much. He couldn’t lose him, not now and not like that. They’d both lived through so much, fought through pain and anguish to be together he refused to lose him now to a panic induced coronary.  

The only reason he’d survived his own cardiac arrest was due to Ty being too thick headed to let him die, performing CPR until medical attention arrived. Zane feared that he wouldn’t be able to return the favour. Just the thought of Ty stopping breathing was enough to paralyse him, he prayed to whomever happened to be listening that he’d never have to find out if he’d be able to hold it together long enough to give his husband a chance to live.

“Ty, baby listen to me” Zane tried to speak softly, pushing his own fear down and letting his accent soothe the words “You have plenty of air in here and help is coming, you just need to calm down. Can you do that for me?”

Zane reached out to hold Ty’s face in both his hands, rubbing his thumbs over the light stubble along Ty’s jaw. Gently he pulled Ty closer so that they were facing each other in the dark. Ty had reached out to grab Zane’s upper arms. Zane could feel his nails digging into the fabric of his shirt.  


“I know…I know” Ty panted, his warm breath against Zane’s cheek “B-but I can’t”

Ty was obviously struggling, fighting to get his breathing under control. He let his head drop, resting it against Zane’s shoulder. Zane moved to put one and on the back of Ty’s neck, stoking at the soft skin he found there for a moment before running his hand further down coming to rest against Ty’s back, between his shoulder blades. The other hand he used to press firmly against Ty’s heaving chest. Zane tried to ignore the feeling of Ty’s heart beating unnaturally fast under his palm, as he pressed down on Ty’s chest. Hoping the pressure of his hand would force Ty to slow his breaths down.

“C’mon baby, slow deep breaths” he could feel Ty fighting against him, struggling to breathe at the increased rate despite the extra pressure. If Ty didn’t get this under control soon he was going to pass out “Beaumont! you need to calm down”

“I’m trying to!”

“Oh to hell with it” Zane muttered.

Bringing his hands back to Ty’s face he quickly covered Ty’s mouth with his own. Something in the back of Zane’s mind told him that this was probably a bad idea but right now it wasn’t offering up any alternatives so what was he supposed to do?. He needed to distract Ty and quickly.

The sudden kiss appeared to have the desired effect. Zane felt Ty go still underneath him, his panting breaths slowing to nothing as the shock wore off. After a moment Ty’s lips pressed forcefully against his own quickly followed by his tongue. As Ty deepened the kiss, licking and nibbling at Zane’s bottom lip before forcing his way past Zane’s lips. Zane was more than happy to let him. This was something they knew, something they’d done hundreds of times over the years and just this once Zane was happy to let Ty take control without putting up a fight. If his husband felt like he needed to control something in this craptastic situation who was he to get in the way.  

Zane wrapped his arms around Ty, pulling him flush against him. He couldn’t fail to note that although Ty’s chest was still heaving it wasn’t as bad as before. Ty appeared to be calming down, at least in the panic attack sense, if the hardness pressing against his thigh was anything to go by, he was getting worked up in other ways.    

“Zane?” Ty questioned breathlessly as he pulled away slightly, both hands tangled up in Zane’s curls

“I’ve got you baby” Zane spoke softly, bending to kiss along one side of Ty’s neck. He could feel Ty’s shuddering breathes again “I asked you once to let me hold you in the dark” he tightened his hold slightly, enough to remind Ty he was there but not tight enough for Ty to feel restrained “Let me hold you, let me take care of you. The dark doesn’t have to be scary we can make our own memories out of it”

“You first told me you loved me in the dark”

Zane felt the smile cross Ty’s lips as his husband leaned in for another kiss, this one far less frantic than the previous one although they we’re both equally breathless when they parted

“I trust you Zane” Ty spoke, taking deep breaths “I trust you to hold me, protect me, love me. I also trust you not to bring this up again especially not in front of Clancy because if you do I won’t hesitate to kick your ass”

“You can try but-” Zane next words were cut off as Ty forced himself back onto him, devouring his mouth and claiming him as his own.  


“Shuuush” Ty hissed, breaking the kiss and ducking his head under Zane’s chin “Maybe she’ll go away”

“She’s our only way out of here” Zane responded raising an eyebrow Ty wouldn’t be able to see even if he wasn’t currently trying to burry himself against Zane


“Suddenly the dark doesn’t seem like the scary option anymore”

I wrote another thing – this ones my take on ‘I just really need to have you here right now’ and ‘Look at me – just breathe, okay?’ from the angst dialogue prompt list.

~ ~ ~ ~

‘Oh dear God it hurts’ was the first thought that entered Ty Grady’s mind quickly followed by ‘Fuck why am I not dead?’

“Because you’re not that lucky?”

Ty hadn’t realised he’d spoken out loud so he really wasn’t expecting an answer and he sure as hell wasn’t expecting the voice that delivered it.

“Doc?” he questioned, managing to crack open an eyelid only to quickly shut it again, why were hospital lights so fucking bright? at least he assumed he was in hospital. The surface below him felt like a bed, a bed much comfier than the medical cots from the past, but doc being here…

“Evening, sunshine”

Oh God he could even hear the smile in Kelly’s voice, the man was far too happy. Though that should be a positive sign, an unhappy Kelly standing vigil was never good news.


“What what?” Kelly asked after Ty trailed off.

“Why…?” words just weren’t his friend today.

“Why am I here? What happened?”

Not trusting his words he nodded, he really shouldn’t have done that either, the pain increased.

“Head hurt?” Kelly’s hand was on his forehead, probably estimating his temperature. Ty gave opening his eyes another shot and was glad that his initial reaction from a few moments ago seemed to be a one off. Blinking a few times Kelly’s concerned face came into focus.

“Yeah” he managed to get out as another wave of pain ran through him, this one seemed to originate from his gut.

Kelly sat back in the chair he’d pulled up to the side of the bed, he was definitely in an hospital bed and Kelly was wearing civvies. Numerous thoughts and events passed through his mind but nothing explained what had happened, something did jump out as being wrong though.

“Zane?” he questioned trying to sit up

A hand shot out and pushed him firmly back to the bed.

“Zane’s fine” Kelly informed him quickly, cutting straight to the point, Ty had never appreciated that more “He’s tying up a few loose ends that I’m not supposed to know about then he’ll be right over”

Ty struggled to sit up despite the crippling pain “I need to go”

“Go where? you leave that bed and you’ll fall flat on your ass”


“He’s fine” Kelly assured him, he was using his corpsman voice, the one that managed to get through the most thickest of skulls

“But, I need to be there” Ty protested “What if he needs backup?”

“He has it” Kelly replied, he was standing again, using one hand to keep Ty back against the pillows “Nick’s there”


“Jesus, what the fuck did they give you? no wonder you’ve had a reaction” Kelly was shaking his head, Ty knew that look, that was the look of ‘move out the way I’ll do it myself’. Doc wore that look a lot whenever he had accompanied any of sidewinder to a hospital in the past

“Doc, explain” his words were cut of by a gasp as the pain increased, he couldn’t help but attempt to curl up in the fetal position “Oh fuck that hurts!”

“Congratulations Grady, it’s a kidney stone”


“Fraid so” Kelly offered him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder, while he rummaged in his pocket “You’re going to have to pass this one naturally too, sorry”

Ty let himself fall back onto the bed, squeezing his eyes shut as he slowly stretched his legs back out. The pain was subsiding a little.

“Here” Kelly pressed his phone into Ty’s hand after a few moments

“What is it?” he questioned opening his eyes

“Your husband” with that Kelly stepped away from the bed, obviously trying to give him some privacy while not straying too far in case Ty needed him.

Ty brought the phone to his ear “Zane?”

“Damn Ty, it’s good to hear your voice. You scared me half to death”

“I’m fine” Ty smiled, Zane’s deep calming voice was just what he needed to hear “Well not fine, but doc seems to think I’ll live”

“Yeah he said”

“What’s happening?”

“Just waiting on a pick up, don’t worry it wasn’t anything we couldn’t handle”

“Nick still with you?”

“Yeah, he’s babysitting. Doubt the bosses will be happy about this but fuck ‘em”



“I, I just really need to have you here right now”

“I know doll, I know, I’ll be there as soon as I can be, promise – look I gotta go, think the pickups here, I’ll be there soon, love you”

“Love you, darlin’” Ty wasn’t sure if Zane had heard his reply before he’d hung up but it didn’t really matter he supposed. Zane knew how much Ty loved him, Ty made sure to tell him at some point during the day, every day. The important thing was that Zane was doing everything he could to get there, nothing against Kelly’s bedside manner but right now all Ty wanted was his husband by his side. Zane always made the pain more bearable and the light at the end of the tunnel that bit brighter.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Ty woke slowly to the sound of voices, his head felt like it was stuffed with cotton. It took him a few moments to recall that he’d been given some pain relief, obviously it was either some good shit or a brand he was susceptible to. Within minutes of the nurse adding it to his drip he’d fallen asleep.

“No seriously it’s true I saw it on TV somewhere I think, or maybe I read it” that was Kelly’s voice

“Really? doesn’t sound right” that was Nick, Ty would recognise those voices anywhere

“Yeah, they were discussing it and there was this woman in the audience who’d given birth and passed a kidney stone, she said the stone was the more painful experience”

Ty groaned, that wasn’t what he needed to hear right then


Ty felt someone running their fingers through his hair, he could also hear the sound of chairs scraping across the floor. Forcing his eyes to open he was greeted with Zane’s incredibly handsome face. He’d have liked a moment to appreciate the view but it soon became apparent why he’d woken up at that moment, the pain was back. Gritting his teeth he let out another moan.

“Ty, Look at me – just breathe, okay?”

“It hurts Zane” he couldn’t help gasping as the pain hit him in waves

“I know doll” Zane continued running a soothing hand through his hair as his other found Ty’s hand, lacing their fingers together he squeezed tightly

“Man up Grady” Nick smiled at him from the foot of the bed “It’s just a little stone”

“Fuck you Irish!, I’ve just been informed that it’s worse than childbirth”

“I question the validity of your source” Nick smirked as Kelly elbowed him.

“If it makes you feel better I can help with the pregnancy breathing” Kelly offered patting Ty’s sheet covered foot “What?” he questioned as everyone turned to give him a confused look

“They trained you to deliver babies?”

“They trained us for everything” Kelly smiled “I’ve probably forgotten most of that though, but the other year one of the girls at camp went into surprise labour”

“Surprise how?”

“She didn’t know she was pregnant” Kelly shrugged “She was young, hadn’t had the best education, didn’t show. I can believe that she genuinely didn’t know. I was the nearest medic so she ended up being my responsibility, luckily the EMT’s turned up and took over because Jesus, I’ll stick my hand inside a body to pinch an artery closed but watching a baby pop out was something I didn’t need to see that day”

“You are a very strange man” Nick stated with a laugh, pulling Kelly closer to his side

Ty groaned again, whether from pain or at the display of affection between his friends he didn’t elaborate. Zane held his hand and continued running his fingers through his hair.

“It’ll be over soon doll” Zane tried to reassure him.

Ty just nodded, squeezing his eyes shut against the pain. He was vaguely aware of Nick and Kelly leaving to ‘find some food’ and at that moment he didn’t care if they actually did return with food or not. All that mattered was that Zane was here, Zane was here and letting him crush his hand whenever the pain intensified.

“Love you” Ty muttered, looking up into his husband’s intense dark eyes

“Love you too” Zane smiled bending to press his lips against Ty’s. The kiss was simple, chaste and interrupted by a fresh wave of pain.

This was going to be a long night but with Zane by his side Ty knew everything would be fine.

I appear to be developing a bit of a habit writing these things – This one’s based on the “It’s okay to cry” prompt.

“It’s okay to cry”

Kelly felt himself tense, he’d been so lost in this thoughts he hadn’t heard anyone leaving the house let alone approaching him. Some recon marine he’d make, then again the guy approaching was also recon, one of the best he’d been told, so maybe he wasn’t meant to hear the approach.

“Who said I’m going to cry?”

“I can see it in your face”

“You’re not looking at my face”

“Fine, I could see it in your eyes earlier and your whole body is tensed up. It’s kinda obvious Doc”

Kelly remained silent, he wasn’t sure if he was in the mood for company and he really wasn’t sure if he deserved it, especially after what he’d done not fifteen minutes ago.

“It’s the anniversary isn’t it?” Kelly turned to look up at Nick, giving him a blank look. That was quite possibly the last thing he’d expected his teammate to come out with “Of when you lost your parents?”

Kelly felt his breath catch in his throat eventually managing to form words “How, how did you know that? I haven’t told anyone”

“I did some research” Nick confessed, looking guilty “Don’t take it personally, I looked into Johns and Digger’s backgrounds too. We’re supposed to be a team, I wanted to find out more about what makes you guys tick and what could potentially throw you off balance. I needed to know how to deal with and help you if you stumbled. You’re probably used to being the one to take care of everyone as the Doc but someone needs to be able to take care of you too”

Kelly just looked at him, he really wasn’t sure what to do with that or the ache that developed inside his chest.

“I asked around and looked into a few things, didn’t take me long to find out about a ten year old, orphaned on a stormy night in Colorado. There’s not many Kelly Abbotts out there who fit the age and location”

Kelly signed “I wasn’t hiding it I just…I dunno, I suppose I just didn’t want to be defined by it anymore” he trailed off, confused why he was even trying to defend this.

“Doc, you don’t have to keep anything from us. We’re a team, your shit is our shit just like our shit is your’s now too”

“I’m fine Nick” Kelly knew Nick wouldn’t believe him, hell a blind person wouldn’t have believed the voice he’d just spoken with

“That may be so” Nick started obviously humouring him as he sat down next to him on the curb in front of the house they shared “But still It’s okay to cry sometimes y’no, it doesn’t make you weak”

“I’m not weak” letting out a huff of breath Kelly turned to look at Nick “How’s Ty’s eye?”

“Ty’ll be fine, think it’s his pride that took the hit more” Nick gave him a lopsided smile “And I know you’re not weak, I wasn’t saying you were. I was just pointing out that it’s okay to express your emotions like this. It’s okay to grieve”

“It’s a bit late to still be grieving don’t you think?” Kelly let his head hang as he stared at the ground

“It’s never too late, trust me”

“I do” Kelly replied, sniffing and wiping at his eyes, tears hadn’t fallen yet but it could tell it wasn’t for lack of trying on their part

“You’re not alone” Nick said, shifting closer and wrapping his arm around Kelly’s shoulders “We all grieve for something”

Kelly tilted his head to look at Nick’s face, green eyes met him with a look that could only be called supportive “Thought your parents were still alive?”

“They are” Nick shrugged “Doesn’t mean I don’t grieve for the father I never had”

Kelly leaned into Nick’s side, trying to show some support despite how broken he currently felt.

Ty had given him a very brief warning when he’d joined Sidewinder a couple of months back. No major details just basic rundown of the rest of the team. He’d expected as much as their medic. Ty had gone over the medical aspects – who was allergic to what (mainly his own, Kelly had had to write a list of ‘what not to give Ty’ on the inside of his medkit since the list was that long) who was currently recovering from what recent injuries, who had prolonged issues etc – he’d then gone on to mention that Nick had had a rough childhood at the hands of his father. No details just a gentle warning that he could possibly be triggered if the wrong buttons were pushed. Kelly had met enough abused kids while he was in the foster system to know the how to deal with the fallout. He knew when to pay Nick close attention

Letting out a breath slowly he rested his head against Nick’s shoulder, not really caring what they must look like. He was a hugger, he liked contact with people and right now he just needed to be held until he felt willing to take on the world again. Nick seemed content to be there, offering all the support Kelly needed to get through this.

“Bet Ty’s pissed” Kelly spoke after a few minutes of contemplative silence

“He’s not mad at you” Nick reassured “He understands”

“Glad someone does because I sure as hell don’t” Kelly sighed again “I shouldn’t have done that”

“Forget about it, Ty won’t hold this against you, they’re good people. We all get why we’re here and understand that everyone has their own demons. We’re here to support you Doc, just as much as you’re here to fix us”

Nick squeezed his shoulder again before standing up “Come back inside whenever you’re ready” Nick stood up, brushing the grit off his sweatpants, he offered Kelly a warm smile “Eli’s offered to sleep on the couch if you still want some space. I suggest you say you do even if you don’t, cause that shit doesn’t happen often”

Kelly watched Nick head back into the house. The lights filtering through the closed curtains emitting a cosy, enticing glow. Leaning back on his hands, Kelly looked up at the night sky, the stars were not as bright here but then again he did grow up in the mountains. He let all the thoughts he’d been trying to organise run freely through his head – his parents, random memories of his once happy childhood, the night that changed everything, the feeling of his stomach dropping when he heard the knock at the door that stormy night, the way his babysitter (a young local girl) broke down and the police officer who told him what had happened when he found a ten year old Kelly sitting at top of the stairs, the way the tears in the police officer’s brown eyes were the only reason Kelly believed him.

His own tears were flowing freely now, he made no attempt to conceal them.

He thought of the way Nick had looked at him not long after he’d joined the team. One day he seemed to look at Kelly with an odd look in his eyes, then he’d wordlessly patted him on the back as he passed him on route to the kitchen. It had confused Kelly at the time but then he’d observed Nick hug, pat or hair ruffle the other guys randomly so he put it to one side. He’d assumed it was just a Nickism but now, now he suspected it was after Nick had learned about Kelly’s orphan status.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat staring at the sky lost in memories but eventually he felt the ache in his wrists. Shifting, he slowly got to his feet. The heartache wasn’t as bad, it still hurt, it always would but now, now it was manageable. Brushing down his jeans and wiping at his eyes with his shirt sleeves he turned towards the house, it’s warm glow and the no doubt warm embrace of his new family.

Inspired by @alphakingonstilesboard and her amazing cut & run prompt fics I wrote a thing…based on the “Please, put it DOWN” prompt.

The blade caught the late afternoon light that filtered through the bookshops partially closed blinds, drawing all attention to it, as if his attention had been anywhere else. Zane kept his eyes on the silver blade as he slowly raised both hands, palms open to show he wasn’t concealing anything. A sharp hiss accompanied small beads of blood running down a tanned neck as the masked man shifted his position. The intruder was maneuvering to get a better grip on his hostage while turning to keep Zane fully in his sights.   

“Please, put it DOWN” Zane knew it was a long shot but what else could he say right now “Please put the knife down” he spoke loud and clearly, not wanting to sound threatening but equally not willing to take this ‘robbery attempt?’ lying down.

“You know what I’m here for” the voice was gruff and somewhat muffled by the black material covering his mouth.

The masked man fisted his hand in his hostage’s dark hair and pulled backwards, exposing more of the man’s neck, the knife biting into the skin.

Zane shifted slightly. The gun they kept under the counter was within easy reach but he wasn’t overly confident he could grab it and get the shot off before the man did some dangerous damage to his victim. Knives were tricky – he of people should know – they were intimidating and could cause a whole lot of problems not to mention mess, he really didn’t fancy spending his evening scrubbing blood from the floorboards.

“I’m assuming you’re not here for the free coffee” he drawled, he hoped to stall the man, he also hoped Ty had a plan because all the scenarios running through his head ended up with spilled blood.

Why weren’t necks better protected? One slip, a nicked artery and it was safe to assume it was game over.

“Hand it over”

“Hand what over?” Zane asked mildly amused “The money?, seriously how much do you think bookshops take in cash nowadays? Most things are charged to card” he could see the man’s bloodshot eyes widen slightly.

Zane would edge his bets that he was currently being held up by a junkie looking for some easy money for his next fix. Christ, what a fucking life. He vaguely wondered if that would have been his destiny if his life hadn’t been interrupted by the whirlwind that was Tyler Grady. The junkie realisation made the current situation that bit more dangerous, desperate and unpredictable.

“What the…” the masked man grunted, glancing down quickly before looking back up at Zane “Don’t fucking move” he warned, visibly tightening his grip on the knife, as the blade drew more blood  

Zane could just make out the back end of Cricket as the cat moved behind the man’s legs, appearing on the other side. Zane stared incredulously as Cricket proceeded to rub against the man’s ankles

“Get out of here!” the man demanded, lifting a foot back and kicking the cat away


The sound of someone else in the building obviously shocked the man and he momentarily moved the knife away from his hostage. The movement was slight but it was all Ty needed as he barreled out from behind one of the floor to ceiling bookshelfs he’d been using as cover while he observed and assessed the situation.  

“That was your second mistake” Zane supplied, watching as Ty ran full speed into the man tackling both him and their unfortunate customer to the floor.

Zane quickly side stepped around the counter and kicked the dropped knife away from the fray. Ducking left he managed to avoid a flailing foot and make a successful grab for the customer, pulling the man away from the scuffle.

“The first, numb-nuts” Ty started as he banged the guys head against the floor, before pinning him face down “Was attempting to rob a place owned by former FBI agents” the man moaned as Ty dug a knee into his back, pulling both arms backwards into an effective arm lock.

Zane couldn’t help but smirk at his husband now that the danger was over “Not to mention a protective marine” he had one hand clamped around the customer’s neck, he could feel wet beneath his fingers but from what he’d seen it wasn’t enough to be majorly concerned about “You’ll be okay, it’s just a surface scrape” he tried to reassure the man, who now that Zane had the opportunity to properly look at, was barely in his twenties. As young as he appeared to be he was remarkably calm about the whole situation, probably heading into shock

“Zane, how’s Cricket?”

“Dunno doll, little busy here”

“But Zane, she’s just a baby!”

“A baby who likes to flirt with danger apparently” Zane mumbled loud enough for Ty to hear “Bit like her daddy”

“Lone star!” Ty was practically whining now

“Fine I’ll go find her” leaving the customer propped against the wall, hand wrapped around his own neck, Zane headed in the direction of the shelfs. He paused by Ty, bending down to give Ty a quick kiss “Probably won’t though, I reckon she’s ready to graduate your SERE course”

“Fine, switch places”

Zane looked down at the complicated way Ty had wrapped himself around the intruder, effectively immobilising him face first on the ground.

“I’d rather switch places with him”

Ty just rolled his eyes “Call this in and I’ll give you a personal demonstration on all the best close quarter take down methods” as Zane reached for his phone Ty added with a lopsided grin “After you’ve found Cricket”

Zane decided he had better actually look for the cat this time, he’d be damned if he was letting either of the kittens prevent him from getting laid…again.